Gary.

I like to claim that I don't get especially shocked when the people around me act in such a way that would be considered blunt, bold, or against social norms. Last week I was nearly speechless. 

When I get my hair cut I go pretty much anywhere [I'm not picky-it's hair, and it grows back]. I will either go to a friend and use it as a time to catch up on each others lives [Brynn K. She's amazing, go to her!] or I will go to somewhere like a Sport or Great Clips, somewhere that offers little waiting time and that knows how to trip bangs and split ends. Last week I went to Fantastic Sams. 
At Fantastic Sams I do the usual, come in, give my name and number, settle down with a collection of magazines and wait the 10 minutes they say i'll need to wait. Once it was my turn to have my hair cut I told the girl the usual stuff: "I have really thick hair and a lot of it, I'd like my layers touched up, please trim my bangs and the ends, maybe if you'd thin it as well."
Somehow we got on the subject of tattoos, she had some and they looked cool so I told her that I liked them and next thing I know she wants to set me up with her boyfriends cousin Gary. GARY. It was a little weird for me, in a funny sort of way. I played along and even made some joke about Gary being a name that I imagine some elderly man with his pants up above his belly button. So Gary, who is not an elderly man with his pants at an awkward height on his frame, who is supposed to be a looker, who will also treat me well, let me just say one thing "if you're not offended by the way I made fun of you without even knowing who you are or where you wear your pants, this will probably be as awkward for me as it is for you."